The Hipster Mom

The Inheritance

There are things you want your kid to inherit like your ability to draw or your keen business sense. Then there are the things you are down right nervous about him inheriting like your indulgence of 2, sometimes plus, drinks a day, your ridiculous cookie habit, shopping addiction or even your more pharmacological escapades on a nighttime rager. I witnessed something tonight that gave me a little twinge that maybe, possibly Fritz has inherited my somewhat addictive behavior or I could be paranoid ? Let me tell you what happened...There is a tub of lollipops in the cupboard, organic of course, but lollies all the same. Essentially, baby crack. I have a feeling the nanny may have let him have one maybe two today because about a half hour after I got home he was hanging off the kitchen counter grabbing for the cupboard like a crack fieeeeend.

Danger!

I don't know what other parents do but as soon as Fritz could move around at all and touch anything I adopted using the word Danger...for well...Danger."No" is boring and wayyyy over used. I thought I'd use something with a little more punch, a little more impact. I also try to say it a lot like Mystikal does..."DANE-JAH! Watch ya Self! Show Me Whatcha Workin With!!". Except I just say the "DANE-JAH" part. My friends think it's funny and it kinda works. So it goes something like this: Fritz tries to stick his hand in the open flame on the stove. Me: DANGER!. Fritz begins to get tangled up in the million Mac cords hanging off my desk. ME: DANGER!. Fritz starts to scale the bookcase with 5,000 lbs of books and sharp picture frames on it. Me: DANGER! You get the idea. To wrap this up tho, I hope I'm not damaging him because maybe there are times I misuse Danger...like when he grabs the dirty skank toilet brush and starts flinging it about or taking DVD's out of their cases??? Don't scratch mommy's Sopranos Season 3. DANGER!!!